Carmen
Trauma to Wedding Bells
Carmen, a 36-yearold, rich mahogany
complexion
woman,
interviewed for a
residence at Hyacinth’s Place straight
from an area shelter where she lived for
over a year. Prior to housing, she was on
the streets. Carmen contracted
meningitis at six months old which left
her deaf and mute upon recovery. She
came with several mental and medical
diagnoses: border line mental
retardation, Post Traumatic Stress
Disorder (PTSD), depression, substance
abuse, and HIV.
Carmen says she always felt rejected,
starting at home living with an only sister
with a lighter skin complexion, “better
hair,” and no mental challenges. It
became clear, that Carmen believed in
a society where skin color and hair
texture determined acceptance and
how well one was treated. At a very
young age, Carmen was sexually
abused by a family member resulting in
pregnancy and the birth of her
daughter. Culture, religion, and “family
values” did not allow exposing this
“shame.” Her trauma and child were a
well-kept family secret. The experience
was never spoken about and Carmen’s
trauma went untreated. As an
adolescent, Carmen became
“uncontrollable” and initially found
comfort in alcohol and later, harder
drugs. The years following Carmen’s
rape, there was no name identified for
her “unexplainable behavior.” Today
we are aware of PTSD.
Ultimately, Carmen learned of her HIV
status after leaving the streets and
seeking medical attention. Upon
hospital discharge, Carmen went to a
shelter and later found Hyacinth’s
Place. Regardless of the “good
intentions” from Hyacinth’s clinicians
and the desperation from the shelter’s
representative, in less than two months
of residency authorities cited that
Hyacinth’s Place was violating
Carmen’s rights and the law. Sign
language interpreters and equipment
for the deaf were required. These
requirements exceeded Hyacinth’s
Place’s budget and expectations. The
limited staff began to ask how does a
non-profit organization with limited funds
meet these complex needs? Eventually,
through the generosity of sign language
students, donation of equipment, and a
great deal of ingenuity, we provided
Carmen with necessary services.
Staff worked with recognizing her desire
to grow and become self-sufficient. She
wanted to achieve a better quality of
life, communicate effectively, and
address her mental health, substance
abuse and HIV issues. Her goal was to
reunite with her family again. She
worked diligently and was determined.
After two years, Carmen re-entered
community a physically, mentally and
spiritually transformed individual. With
the help of a new network of friends,
family, and a great deal of confidence.
Carmen discovered a passion and skill
for photography in which she derives
great pleasure. Her “fiancé,” whom she
met while living at Hyacinth’s Place,
purchased a car and Carmen desires to
learn how to drive.
A future wedding–a thought we never dared to entertain with the woman who first she sat across an interview table to live at Hyacinths’ Place.